Ludz

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Chapter 21

 

Their steps echoed against the metallic walls of the Leviathan. The angle it landed made the monstrous ship difficult to explore, despite this they had made it decently far on past explorations. Ludz led Vince up a stairway turned almost on its side. They walked slowly along the railings using the stairs for support. Ludz kept looking back at Vince, who struggled to keep his footing while keeping up with Ludz’ already slowed speed.

 

Ayn had practically sprinted ahead of them. He wasn’t too concerned; it was hardly her first time exploring the Leviathan alone. When they were younger it had been their favorite place to explore. He smiled at the memory of Handi leading them along the slanted railings the first time. She was full of confidence and determination as they took large uncertain steps across the gaping bars. The wall below them wasn’t too far off but the slide down would be unpleasant if they had fallen.

 

“So you guys do this often?” Vince asked.

 

“Do what?” Ludz asked, watching Vince’s familiar tentative steps.

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“Explore shipwrecks?”

 

“Not that often, usually we just get the scraps,” Ludz explained. It was harder to find useful items scattered around, but mostly intact ships like the Leviathan were a rarity. The spouts had a knack for shredding larger objects. Ludz instinctively skipped a loose bar as he explained. “We can usually find some pretty interesting things in the forest. Though it’s mostly luck.”

 

Ludz heard Vince stepping down on the loose bar before he could react. The metal squeaked as Vince’s foot slipped down with the bar. “Watch it!” he shouted. Ludz barely managed to catch his arm in time. He held him up as Vince regained his footing.

 

“Sorry!” He said flustered. Ludz was beginning to notice Vince was really easy to embarrass. “I mean thanks!”

 

Vince leaned against the wall staring down at the abyss behind them. “Handi’s right. You do like almost dying,” Ludz teased.

 

Vince nodded.

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“Come on, we’re almost there.” Ludz continued leading him a little bit slower to one of the last doors in the stairwell. They had to pull themselves up through the metal doorframe above their heads, into what looked like a study. 

 

It was one of the few rooms they could reach that hadn’t been fully explored. With each year they grew they could reach a deeper part of the Leviathan, but Ludz doubted they’d ever be able to explore all of it.

 

Books and papers were spiraled across the wall turned floor. Ludz pushed the papers out of his way as he pulled himself up. Vince tried to copy him but didn’t have as much upper body strength and fell back to the bars, which led to Ludz helping him up through the hole. It was hard to keep his balance on the not entirely horizontal wall beneath their feet, but Ludz eventually got him up.

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He surveyed the simple room, just a small bed, a dresser and a desk all welded to the floor. A hard thunk came from behind him. He turned around and Vince rubbed his head and winced in pain as he leaned over. The open drawer of the desk hovered just above his head.

 

“You’re a bit of a walking disaster,” Ludz said with a chuckle. He was beginning to understand Handi’s reluctance to let him out. He radiated the demeanor of a sheltered child who couldn’t handle the world alone.

 

“I’ve been told,” he said with a sheepish smile.

 

They looked around the room a little bit. Ludz sighed. He was never going to find the musicians’ quarters. The Leviathan was his best bet at finding a violin string. It had been a large passenger ship that transported those with mostly heavy pockets, those who enjoyed the finer things like music and art. He knew the crew had an entertainment section to keep those pockets happy. When he was young he had traveled on many of these types of ships for that exact reason. 

 

But this was just another empty room frozen in time. He looked at the papers at his feet of travel logs and ocean maps. Maybe it had been the cartographers room? He tried not to think of the people who once roamed these halls they explored. There was always a morbid curiosity to the question of what happened to them. Handi explained it as another miracle of her island and he had no reason to question her. If they had found bodies when they were so young they all would have been retraumatized and by now desensitized to the idea of death. If her island were a protector like she claimed, it wouldn’t allow for such a thing.

 

A part of him hoped they had all died. It was the part of him who had been dragged around by his father as a novelty to perform for anyone who’d pay. To him they were all cruel people.

 

Out of the corner of his eye Ludz spotted Vince picking a book up and tucking it under his arm. “Find something good?” Ludz asked.

 

“No- uh- nothing,” he said, somehow already embarrassed. 

 

Ludz cocked his eyebrow, suddenly more curious about his change in demeanor. “Mmmhmm,” he hummed.

 

Vince slowly pulled out the sketchbook he failed to hide. He used it to cover his face, but Ludz could hear the nervousness in his cracking voice. “It’s just something Fiu said. He liked my sketches,” he admitted.

 

Ludz couldn’t help but smirk. There was no way Vince noticed yet, but Ludz could tell this was the start of a cute crush. “I’ll lend you some graphite.”

 

Vince looked away and his attention was instantly caught but something out the window. Ludz followed his gaze. The porthole was on the wall opposite to one on which they were standing. They were at just the right angle and height to see a view above the treeline. In the far distance the waves were calm and low. The deep blue line traced the horizon. A few birds flew by chirping a peaceful song. Vince watched the beautiful scenery with a conflicted look on his face.

 

“Everyone says there is no way off this island,” he said. Vince turned back to Ludz with newfound purpose. His soft sky-like eyes seemed sharper like ice for once. “Is it true?” He asked.

 

“Yes, it’s true,” Ludz responded. He found no point to lie, nor beat around the bush like the others. Handi didn’t like talking about it, but he had never been the type to shy away from things.

 

“How is it activated?” He asked again, his questions were much more aggressive than he had expected from the boy who hid a sketchbook. Nothing he couldn’t handle though.

 

“As far as we can tell, only when metal comes across it,” Ludz said. Or at least that was Stein’s guess. There were very few items they witnessed cross the line without it spouting up.

 

He could hear the hope in Vince’s voice as his words sped up. “So wood is okay? Then we-”

 

“It won’t work,” Ludz interrupted. False hope was useless. “We don’t have the materials on hand. It would take months and we’re not even certain.”

 

Ludz found a certain irony in the fact that Vince made these wild plans to leave as he stood on the remains of the plan for a failed voyage. This massive ship had never reached its destination. Why would Vince be different in the face of the spouts?

 

“Then what about finding a gap?” He asked, still desperately trying to find a solution.

 

“There isn’t one.”

 

“Right. Or so Handi says.” 

 

Ludz didn’t like the snark in his voice. He tried to be understanding but Vince really made it difficult sometimes. “Or so I say,” Ludz said firmly. “I’ve been up the mountain. There is no gap, Vince.”

 

Vince’s fist tightened into a small frustrated ball. He glared down at the maps below him. “I don’t believe you. I won’t. I have to find a way to Hadzat.”

 

“Why?” Ludz asked. He truly didn’t understand why Vince was so desperate to get back to his old life. It didn’t sound all that grand to him, and Hadzat was not the best either. Ludz had been there briefly before he landed on the island and the impoverished living in slums beside the rich extravagant neighborhoods didn’t impress him. The city reeked of luxury gained by the suffering of others. Even he had been used by those same seekers of luxury as a child.

 

“Because I have to! I have to get back,” he said frantically. Ludz hated how he understood the defeat in his voice. He recognized it too easily from his childhood self. The voice of someone who could only see one path of survival. “I’m supposed to be in university, learning how to become an engineer like my brother. I’m supposed to help him.”

 

Vince really believed everything would be alright if he just returned, didn’t he? Why wasn’t he listening to himself? Ludz ripped the sketchbook from his hand. “Then what’s this for?” Ludz shouted. 

 

Vince froze. For a moment he stood blankly looking at the book in Ludz’ hands. Something wasn’t processing in his head. The Vince who wanted to leave was very different from the Vince who picked up the sketchbook. “Uh- um- I…” he trailed off.

 

Ludz wanted him to make that connection. All he ever talked about was what others wanted him to do. Here he didn’t have to do any of that. All anyone wanted from him here was for him to be safe. Handi taught him that and he wanted Vince to understand that too. “Weren’t you just telling me how you were going to draw?” Ludz asked.

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“But what?” Ludz wouldn’t let him keep making excuses for those who forced him down the path they wanted. Their situations may not have been entirely the same, but he could tell there were some similarities from the moment they first met. When Ludz had shown a talent for music his father saw a way out of debt and maybe even into riches. His greed allowed him to use and abuse his family in whatever way he needed to in order to get what he wanted. Sometimes the memories still came back to him with startling clarity. Listening to Vince as he described his own father pushing him down this road brought back that despair. “Now you want to be an engineer?” Ludz asked.

 

“No!” Vince yelled instantly. 

 

“Then why?”

 

“I have to. That’s my role. I become an engineer and take over the factories when Dore begins his political campaign. I’m supposed to support him. My father wants to already be in office by then so he can-”

 

“For the sake of Gahoren, Vince, what do you want?!” Ludz yelled.

 

Vince stood still again blinking fast like a malfunctioning machine. Ludz shook his head and said, “I have no idea why you want to return to Hadzat and that life. You’re not your father’s tool here Vince. You can do what you want here.”

 

Ludz did his best to spell it out for him. He remembered the intense relief he felt when Handi had told him the same thing. Ludz handed him back the sketchbook. 

 

Vince took it while shaking his head. “They’re my family, Ludz. They’ve supported me my whole life. Now it’s my turn to pay them back,” Vince said his voice filled with pain as he looked down at the sketchbook.

 

Ludz looked down at the scattered papers of a man's life at his feet. He could only hope what he said would make Vince think, because as Vince was now he wasn’t ready to hear that families, real families that love and care about their children don’t have this thing called payback. They don’t keep records of every debt. They support out of love.